.Tuesday, September 29, 2009
i'm so bloody pissed. coz of two idiots.
firstly, it's my classmate that made me pissed off.
during lesson this morning, the class was noisy and the teacher was angry. i told the class to quieten down. and they did. except for YEEP ZONG XUAN. and so i told him again, 'keep quiet' . and he snapped 'who are you? only a student councilor' and he cursed some swear words in Hokkien or Cantonese. and i was like, whatthehell, imma report you to our form teacher--' caryk pasl ajerhkk.
secondly, it's somebody (a girl, i think) that text me. i don't know who she ( or he ) is. the number is 91668719. [i know it's not right to give out personal information on the internet but i'm bloody pissed with these two people. i hope no one does this to me as i believe what goes around, comes around] anw, the person said :
'Eh p*k*mak. Kau pakai susuk mane sia! Sume jantan nk kau. Mati tk nk. Gy mampos sua uh ehy. Skali pecah muke kau. Gigi pecah sia. Oh, luper uh. Gigi kau dah mmg pecah.'
>> according to Arjunna, susuk means a traditional way of plastic surgery. yknw .. ?
i don't like fighting thru' texting so i told that idiot to give me a time and place to meet. she ( or he ) didn't reply. COWARD !
looking on the bright side, maybe she ( or he ) is jealous. hahaha. maybe she's too ugly, that's why. ehehe.
Anw, me, Asyiqin and Farazian love 26th September 2009 !
Me, Arjunna, Hairi, Min and Dzul love 28th September 2009 !
ok, bye.
XOXO
.Friday, September 25, 2009
''i'm not a girl, not yet a woman''
firstly, sorrie for being missing in action
i am busy person, yknw
hahaha
secondly, i love life
i don't know if it's the right thing to say that but things now are good
hehh
and thirdly, i'm enjoying being single
get to date different guys at one time
ehehe
i finally passed my Malay test. last test, i flunked. now, i got 34/50. got to keep them scores up. heh. school was fun. tho' during, Math lesson, i was like a crazie counsellor. teacher didn't come and there was no relief teacher for 40 minutes. the class was going berserk. oh wait, the class was already berserk. classmates were everywhere. even outside of the classroom. the chairman and vice chairman were useless, forget about them. they were too busy doing their own things to keep the class quiet. what the hell. i had to do all the work. but, the class didn't realy quiet down. but at least their noise level was so much softer than when they were berserk. anyway, whatever. haha. Science lesson was fun. got back my test. 22/30 yeaay ! was crazie during Science lesson. at one point of time, i was jumping like a monkey and almost hugged the teacher. lawl. crazie counsellor.
at 3pm, went to East Point to get my phone serviced. it has 5 spoilt keypads and it can't auto-lock. Sony Ericsson W595 sucks, i sweaar. i wanna get a new phone. i don't know whether i should get Sony again. i saw one phone at the shop. T700. i kinda like the T700. the black and silver one. ooh, it's so slick. i want! i want! i want! whose phone same as that uh? hopefully no one. hehh.
XOXO
.Saturday, September 19, 2009
FAITH
i'm losing it.
i need help.
i need you.
btw, selamat hari raya to you Muslims:)
XOXO
.Friday, September 18, 2009
and, baby, i believe it's you
Science lesson made sense for me, for the first time since this teacher took over my class. and that was because there were two other teachers, HOD(s) of Science, i believe, in the class to do observation. at the end of the lesson, teacher made us do a quiz of 20 questions. i got 15 correct. and heck, did i feel good:D Damn, the teacher can teach but he is too relaxed with the class. and my classmates are very immature. they just do not know when to stop coz they always push it too far. and it makes me mad sometimes. even my 10 year old brother knows when he has to stop. okay, not true. he doesn't know--'
and talking about my brother, i'm gonna have another sibling. my mummy's pregnant with a baby girl! Zomg! *hands clasped over mouth anw, in school, everything was finally fine. tho' i don't realy hang out with Arjunna. hmm, i guess it doesn't matter. i still have the sec twos and threes(: Hari Raya is on Sunday. i can't believe it. it doesn't feel like Hari Raya is just round the corner(:
my mom's so mean XD she was giving me my jewelry and it was all gold. and i bloody mean all gold. i hated gold. i like silver and so i was going on and on , babbling about gold being an ugly colour. and she suddenly said 'shut up' And i spit back 'i don't want' And she snapped 'f*** you' . and i burst laughing in fits of hysterics.
XOXO
.Thursday, September 17, 2009
''baby, let me love you. let me be the one to give you everything you want and need''
today is the seventeenth, which makes it our third month.
something unusual happened to me today. it happened for fifty minutes. that was the worst fifty minutes of my life, ever. it was so humiliating. the scene keeps repeating in my mind so vividly. how i thought of you, how it made my heart break so bad, how that tear came rolling down my cheek, how i ran out of class despite the stares my classmates gave me, how i rushed into the first toilet cubicle, how i locked myself in there and how i sat down and cried for 30 minutes. i didn't realize it was that long but i just continued crying and i couldn't stop. and then, how i called my mom, begging her to take me home , but how she refused. and how frustrated i felt. the more i continued crying, but this time like a little lost girl who has no direction in her life. indecisive of what path she should take. indecisive at that particular 50 minutes. indecisive about you.
why do all good things come to an end?
PS // i will change my tag box.
XOXO
.Thursday, September 17, 2009
it's past midnight
i'm talking on the phone with [____]
there is a saying ,
'if you love him, set him free. if he comes back, his your's. if he doesn't, he never was'
i'm on the verge of breaking down
i wish i could hang up the phone
guess what?
i'm crying
XOXO
.Wednesday, September 16, 2009
bloody hell. where were you when i needed you the most?the sentence up there goes to [____] & Ddin.
today sucked real bad. at the sickest time of your life, it happens.
i didn't realy understand what i typed but i know it means something--'
tell me, what do you do when it ALL falls apart?
and heck, i mean all.
i'm drifting away from my family, i can tell. my 'friends' are drifting away from me, it's so friggin' obvious. my love life? let's not even go there coz it's private. but it has it's problems. yknw what? i feel like i'm the middle person of everything. tell me, who are my true friends? Nabilah and Ddin. but i don't get to see them in my everyday life. and heck, they're the ones whom i need by my side everyday. it's so depressing. the others come and go. and i don't know if i should cherish them. i won't say their names. sometimes, i feel that they just give me false hopes. at times, they treat me like i'm their everything. it's seriously depressing.
i wish i could just vanish. i wish i could just close my eyes and never open 'em again. i wish i wasn't even brought into this damn world. i wouldn't have to worry about anything. but the best part is that, i wouldn't screw up peoples' lives. coz i realize that's what i've been doing. again, i won't say the names but i think you know who you are.
I"M SORRIE
and yknw what? Hari Raya is just round the corner. and that's the time when problems come rolling in. stupidstupidstupid. life sucks.
XOXO
.Tuesday, September 15, 2009
FVCK
that is all i can say
'cuz i don't even wanna talk about it
why is it that whenever everything is perfect, just the way it is, something wrong is bound to happen?
i don't understand.
i never thought i'd say this but,
my heart's on my sleeve.
XOXO
.Sunday, September 13, 2009
say hello to the girl that i am
you're gonna have to see thru' my perspective
i need to make mistakes just to learn who i am
and i don't wanna be so damn protected
there must be another way coz i believe in taking chances
but who am i to say what a girl is to do
God, i need answers
i can't help the way i feel coz my life is so overprotected
\tell me something i don't know. hmm, my life sucks. it's a mess.
anw, hello lovelehs. today was so tiring. i didn't sleep last night, from 11 plus till sahur because i was talking on the phone with [____] . hehehe. gerek uy. so during sahur, i was wide awake and i laughed my ass off at the littlest things. after sahur, went to sleep but had to wake up again at 930am. my grandmother was bringing all her grandchildren to a play in town. i swear it was lame. like, Lame. haha!
the play ended at 1230pm. went to Tanjong Katong Complex and i swear (again) i wasted one hour of my life just because of my first bro. he was looking for hari raya shoes and he couldn't find it. grrh--' but lucky thing, i met my old friend, Riessa. she asked me to go to her house. i asked Daddy if it was OK. and, yessa! permission granted! dyeh taq puase. hahaha! stayed there for a while only. was supposed to go to grandma's house for breaq fast, tht's why. but gereq uy, dengan Riess♥ i want go there again. talk nonsense. hehe^^.
went to grandma's house, i slept. grrh, knocked out. woke up, got text message from [____] hehe. delighted! now, chatting to my new friend. Yat Pop. i thought he was sec3 but obviously, i was wrong. hahaha. i wanna change blogskin. i'll probably do it on Tuesday. after CA. or does CA end on Tuesday? idk. hehh.
XOXO
.Saturday, September 12, 2009
2310hourswhy do you have to make it so hard for me?
you're the one who caused it all.
since 2002. you think i don't remember.
but i do.
you think you're right about everything.
you're such a big-headed person.
with an extra big ego.
i can't stand you anymore.
you make my blood boil.
if only you had senses when she started doing her crap.
you wouldn't have changed.
because of you, Mummy's like this.
because of you, your son's scared of you.
because of you, i despise you.
you're the cause of everything.
you wanna conquer the world.
who do you think you are?
you ain't no God.
you want us to live by whatever you say.
but you're torturing us.
you're not helping us in any way.
you're making our lives miserable.
you see it, you know it.
but you act as if everything's alright.
what's wrong with you?
why you like this?
why don't you care about us?
you say you love us.
but, i think to myself, is it true?
but, that was last time.
not anymore do i think like this.
i've stood up for myself.
i don't need you in my life.
i don't need you to make my life worse.
i don't need you to tell me what to do.
you've made my mindset thinking having a father-figure sucks.
yknw what, i don't need your love.
don't be surprised if i don't come around knocking at your door.
i'm not missing you.
\i don't miss you, i miss the person you were.
XOXO
.Tuesday, September 08, 2009
my third post for the day ,this is fvcking sick. but i got nothing better to do. i created a YouTube account. idk whathaheck is my URL but type in ' hystericalzxc ' at the search thingy. i'm going to my Daddy's house and as you might know, no using of computer. Gosh. this is fvcking sick. why the heck must i go to his house? i asked Mummy why. she said 'that is one question i can't answer, sweetheart' And what could i answer? i just stared blankly into space, not sure if i should feel angry or hurt.
goodbye.
loves and misses to you.
XOXO
.Tuesday, September 08, 2009
FUN FACTS!>i'm bored
>i just finished doing English NPPA with two group members only, since one can't make it
>i'm texting Nabilah
>Daddy's gonna fetch me at 10pm later tonight
>i think we're going overseas because he asked me to bring my passport
>i'm going to meet up with Nabilah soon. it's a promise, babygirl<3
>i crave for only six things, instead of ten. because i got what i wanted ; bubble tea, doublecheese burger, slurpee and donuts(read my post dated 1st September)
>i linked Nysah and Shikin already
>i'm bored
>i'm not hungry
>i'm bored
bye shitasseszxc(jangan tersinggung uhy)
XOXO
.Tuesday, September 08, 2009
hellohellohello!this post is supposed to be yesterday's update but i didn't have time to use the computer. heh.
so, yesterday, went to school. had Science Supplehmentarrie. slacked, anyway. haha. me and Arjunna didn't understand what the teacher teaches. after supp class, went to Bedok Central. bought camera bag. Arjunna asked me to buy. heh. costed me 12 bucks. there was another shop selling it for 11 bucks but the designs were ugleh. grrrh.
after that, went to LJS. Nanaa tak ley puase so dyeh nak makan. i didn't mind, anyway. so, spent 40minutes there. camwhored alot ;D there was a grandmother and a granddaughter gossiping about me and Nanaa. they kept looking at us and somehow sniggering. tak happie perh sakk ?! so angry at them sehh. our problem laa we want to camwhore or laugh loudly. grrh--'
anyway, whatever laa eh. we made our back to Bedok Central. on the way there, kwang kwang kwaaang. bumped into minaa(s) and budak ITE(s). idk why Nanaa wants to avoid them. she was in a state of hysteria! she started saying ''look there! look down! go there!(then, there were more ITE students) alamak! pergy sane! aah! stupid idiots! ehy! sini la!''
i swear i couldn't take it and burst out laughing. it was so hilarious! then, she looked at me and burst out laughing too! XD gyler laa Nanaa! tak ley angszxc. hahahahaha! actually or mommas forbade us to hang out after school but, sometimes, you just gotta break the rules. ain't it part of growing up? (:
after all that shitzxc, went home. and slept for 2 hours. was woken up by somebody kissing me on the lips, asking me to bring him to Explorer Kid at Downtown East. BbyRayan laa. grrrh. if he was not my adeq, i wouldn't have gotten up from my comfy sleep to bring him! haha. i love that boy so much.
so we went to Downtown. Rayan was so hyper. i penat tau kejaa dyeh. da laa i puasa XD went home at 6pm. showered at 640pm and was almost late for break of fast. hahaha! after break-fast, did homework. bdak baek tau! haha. then at 930pm, i felt like having Slurpee. so i went to 7 Eleven. but i wish i wore something else. i wore mini skirt and tee shirt and got a lot of mat reps and they were staring at me and i was looking down the whole time and i wish i wish i wish i didn't crave for Slurpee. grrrrrrrrhh. haha.
BbyRayan slept with me the whole night . heh. i guess that's all. byeh.
Labels: thanks for the stinking fun ;D
XOXO
.Sunday, September 06, 2009
all this time i was waiting hoping you would come around
i've been giving out chances every time but all you ever do is let me down
and it's taken me this long, baby but i figured you out
you can tell me that you're sorrie but i don't believe you like i did before
you're not sorrie
and i must have been a fool
today, a new chapter of my life begins.
i wish it'd stay this way.
(only except the fact that Ddin is missing. iym still not over it. grrrh.)
it's almost perfect.
(Ddin being around makes it perfect)
i wanna say everything but i'm afraid it's too early (:
just to let you know, me and Afiq are officially over.
officially.
hmm, goodbye.
it's so easy telling you guys but i'm having a very hard time telling my mom XD
she just asked me less than a fortnight ago 'are you still with Afiq?'
and i said yes.
and now i don't know how to break the news to her.
grrrh.
stress sehh XD
so anywaaaaaaay, today a lot of things happened.
only Arjunna and Nabilah knows it all.
bbygirls, keep it on the low ;D
i don't wanna elaborate further and therefore i shall end my uber-short post here.
goodnight.
XOXO
.Saturday, September 05, 2009
grrh.
Ddin, i miss you.
i miss you so much, asshole.
i miss you like hell.
where are you?
damn your phone for being spoilt.
now, it's so hard to communicate with you.
you only get to call me once in a purple moon.
i miss you.
i miss you badly.
i need you.
you were always around to give me advice on everything.
you were always around to share my joy.
you were always around to lend me a shoulder to cry on.
you were always around when i needed someone to hug.
you were always by my side, thru' thick and thin, no matter what happened.
you've seen whatever i'm capable of.
you've seen my weakness.
you're the one that has seen me in everything.
i need you bad, boy.
now, what happened?
you gone missing.
you're missing.
and i'm missing you.
i think about you everyday.
i need you.
i need you bad.
i love you Ddin.
i treasure you with all my heart.
i swear, i love you forever.
{♥}
last night, i was struck with insomnia. couldn't sleep till 330am. you'd never guess what i did. hahaha. anyway, i woke up at 10am. so i had very little sleep. *awww ): i did stuff till 1130am. then, did Literature homework. i like doing it! i wish there was endless Literature homework. hahaha XD so, i finished that around 1215pm. went down, don't know what i did. i did practically nothing till my cousins came at 230pm. did singing and beat boxing using the sound system. hehe.
at 4pm, fell into a deep sleep till 6pm. whoo, gerek! eventho' i fell asleep on the sofa. heh. xD woke up and started doing Geography revision till 836pm. yes people, i did a time-check :D was hungry. so i went down and ate dinner. yum yum, my grandmother cooked Laksa ^^. i don't know how many times i refilled my plate. then, i felt guilty to myself that i ate a lot so i told my cousins 'let' go swimming' in order to burn off the fats XD
so we swam till 945pm. yes people, it was only for a short while. *aww ): but i tell you, i was relieved to have only swam for a while. my cousins were fvcking irritating. all of them were boys and they were so chaotic. they made so much noise i could feel the neighbours watching us. in the end, i left early. i just couldn't stand it. idiotic bunch of people--'
hmm, there's nothing much to talk about today, huh? :)
but i bet you tomorrow's gonna be something to talk about.
XOXO
.Friday, September 04, 2009
my hair was in a mess. i just finished showering. hahaha !
040609
Baby, remember this date?
Remember what happened a few months ago?
You were so into me.
I was so into you.
Why did we let it go so easily?
Why didn't we hold on to each other?
Why did we take the easy way out?
I know I was wrong.
You know you were wrong.
I regret.
Do you?
hello people. i wonder. does anybody read my blog? hahaha. i always read Tiara's, Nabilah's, Arjunna's, Deeanne's and that's about it. well, i read their's whenever i'm online. i like reading their posts. heh. k, im weird. maybe. hahaha.
anyway, today was a short day in school. for once. i didn't go all ''Friday sucks''. the day ended pretty fast tho'. time flies when you're having fun. and i had fun with Arjunna. we didn't pay attention to anything the DnT teacher said and he'd have to teach us personally all over again. while he was teaching us, he made a few mistakes and me and Arjunna tried so darn hard not to burst out laughing. everytime he made a mistake, i'd say 'oopsie' . and Arjunna will cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing. LawL. gerek laa uy.
after school, hung out with Arjunna. till she had to go home. to do something ;D so i went home. played with Rayan. and i slept from 430pm till 705pm. gerek siaah. hahaha. then, had dinner. used the computer for a short while. and then at 9pm, went to Haagen Dazs at East Coast, i think. i'm not sure where la. hah. you'll never guess who text me. oh, maybe you will. hahaha.
i'm having hiccups now. and Haiqal is chatting to me. we are gonna be cousins! his sister is marrying my uncle. ZOMG ! hahaha. Haiqal, the guy i used to have a crush on in 2004, is gonna be my cousin. go figure. sheeshzx. i still remember, i'd stare at him during Malay class and daydream about him becoming my boyfriend. pretty stupid, huh? maybe. hahaha.
i'll update tomorrow.
xxx
XOXO
.Thursday, September 03, 2009
Dear Diary,
is the choice i made really what i want?
i'm afraid i made the wrong choice.
both of them are just so nice and i wish i could have them both but of course i know it's impossible.
or should i just back out?
should i go solo?
i'm so confused.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to think.
i don't know what to say.
it's like, there's thousands and thousands of emotions that i'm feeling inside of me but i just can't express it out.
what should i do?
i don't want to sleep on the problem but it seems that i've been doing it all this while.
i am confused.
i need help.
but i don't know who i can talk to.
Nabilah's the most comfortable person i can talk to but she's so far away.
i don't want to confide in her thru' texts!
i want face-to-face.
but it'd be impossible. what more with my grades slacking and exams just round the corner.
i'm so confused.
i'm a complicated person.
oh! talking about my grades. i got my progress report card back. my highest is A2. slack, huh? and that was Malay. lowest was Science. i flunked. whatthaheck. 44% But luckily my conduct was Very Good. Daddy says that's the most important. hmm, why we talking 'bout my daddy? weird. ok, anyway. Arjunna was by my side the whole day. well, almost the whole day. heh. went recess with her and then halfway, Benjamin sat with us too! he thinks me and Arjunna are crazie. couldn't blame him, tho'. me and Arjunna were laughing the whole time. \Lawl/
after school, i went to collect my class photos. i burst out laughing hysterically when i looked at the fun shots XD after that, went for Council meeting. a short one. thank God. i got a lollipop! heh. Mutalif let me choose what flavor i want XD so after that, went outside the gate to wait for Mummy to fetch me. somebody gave me a shock. Ahmas. i was reading a text and he suddenly appeared behind me. i was dumbfounded /: hah.
and then, me and Mummy went somewhere. cannot tell XP then, went back home. watched last night's Singapore Idol Results Show since i was busy when the show was showing live. hahaha. too bad Jannah's out. i reallie like her. and, whooo, hottie Farhan is in. Nabilah and I agreed that he is the Malay version of Joe Jonas. ehehe.
wow. September holiday is gonna be an interesting one! fun-filled with homework, revision, homework, revision and more homework and revision! yeaaaayy !!
HAHAHA. Sarcastic -.-
i will update tomorrow, it's a promise.
and promises were never meant to be broken(:
XOXO
.Tuesday, September 01, 2009
CRAVINGS:
1. Bubble Tea
2. Doublecheese Burger
3. Big Mac
4. LJS' Chicken Wrap
5. Sushi
6. BBQ Chicken's Chicken Tortilla
7. Mamma's Pudding
8. Slurpee
9. Donuts
10. Creamy Peanut Butter
yummmmmmm ... !!!
hahaha !
enjoy this vid. sorrie the lighting is dark. and i apologize for the incoming text that was in my vid. hahaha !
XOXO