31st December 2009, 4.31pm : This year has been a roller coaster ride. A lot of things have taken place. Most of them passing by too quickly than I'd expected. I still can't believe it's gonna 2010. It felt like I just entered secondary school yesterday(:

From the time my mom had the custody of me and my first brother, to the time when I had a drastic change of the environment I was living in; Bukit Panjang to Tanah Merah, to the time when I had to transfer from Chestnut Drive Sec to Tampines Sec, leaving all my best friends I've known since I was in primary four, to trying to fit into Tampines Sec.

Being like a little angel in school since the vice principal was my uncle. Hohoho!

To the time when I was "popular" among the boys, to the time when I had difficulty choosing a boy out of ten boys, to the time I chose one boy and I broke all the other boys' hearts, to the time I was the one who felt heartbroken.

To the time I found sec two&sec three friends, remembering how close I got to them, outing I had with them.

To the times when I secretly met up with Ddin without my mom knowing, having him fetch me from school almost one week straight, to the time I cried so bad coz he was having health problems.

To the times when I cried so bad because I was missing Bukit Panjang friends so dearly, always planning to go out w them but it never happened ( till recently ) and sooooooo much more.

Oh yeah, to the time I had four siblings from one sibling in the space of two years, how wonderful the ride has been, taking care of my little siblings, how angry I was when my baby brother tore my homework worksheet, how I didn't know how to explain to my teacher and how I had to wake in the middle of the night to feed my baby brother.

And this year is also the first time I took an aeroplane on my own. And this year is also the first time I went on four holidays, back to back during the December holidays. How cool I felt. Hahaha.

Also, it is the first time I played for my family team. My family team is actually only for men, but they were short of players so they put me in. I was elated when I tackled more than three men and heard them cursing. Hehehe.

Oh.My.God. I could write so much more but this post would be an extra long post. Hahaha. I just wanna say thank you to the people who made my day in 2009. And I wanna apologize to those whom I've brought you down or made your day a bad one, intentionally and unintentionally. ( coz i know that i planned to bring your day down, to some of you. hehehe )

Anyway, I hope 2010 will be a much better year for me and for you guys too. In terms of studies, family situations, love life, relationships, etc. And to all the sec fours, all the best for your GCE. To Tampinesians, Mr Fathul says that he misses you all. Heh. Just an FYI.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox

> Izati<3 came to my house yesterday at around six in the afternoon.
> Went to Tampines One to shop for a while.
> Reached home around around 745pm.
> Went swimming till 9pm.
> We were trying to balance doing handstands. Was so pathetic. I laughed when Izati's legs were wobbling in the air. And she shouted : SHUT UP! LOL. I had to go to the loo in the middle of the swim. HAHAHA ! So Izati accompanied me to the restroom.
> Ate dinner ( we cooked maggi ) at 1015pm.
> Went up to my room.
> Decided to do a fashion show. Basically, we dressed up in different outfits and took pictures. Then, we plan to make a slideshow out of the pictures and put on the song TiK ToK by Ke$ha. We rummaged thru' my wardrobe and changed into at least 5 outfits. Hahaha!
> Before that, we did a music video of TiK ToK. Was crazy and fun! Hahaha.
> After doing the fashion show, I decided to do a singing video. Hahaha. Will post it up soon. My voice was just okay-okay as I was bored after the 'fashion show' and really felt like singing and I thought why not do a music vid and so I did.
> Izati was supposed to sleepover but apparently she had to accompany her Dad to an appointment the next day @ 8am so her parents picked her up at 1.30am.
> Pictures and videos are in Izati's camera so when I get 'em from her, I'll post it up.
> Will also upload them videos on YouTube. Hehehe.
> Still can't find USB. What the hell.

"You have a perfect figure for your height. A right weight for your height. And every proportion of your body just nice."

Thanks Mom, just what I've been needing to hear.

P.S/ I'm working on my new cover.

Please visit www.hysterialane.tumblr.com

I just promoted my Tumblr. Re-promoted. Hahaha. K, whatever. Something happened today. Ahemmm. Asyiqin, I'm going to text you. About another something. Not this something that happened. Haha.

Baby Sofia will come home tomorrow. Yeay! I almost cried when I said I love you to my mom just now. Idk why. And it made me wanna cry more when she looked me in the eye and said "I love you too sweetheart" . But I didn't break down. Imma strong girl(:

Anw. No proper update today. I'm so tired. Exhausted. Looking after Rayan 24/7 can make you over sized people lose weight. Really.

had a realy long day today, eversince mummy left for hospital.
was told to be mummy to BabyRayan till mummy got back.
Baby Sofia was born on 1759 hours.
she weighs 2340g and is 47cm in length.
she's the cutest lil thing i've ever seen.
her skin so soft, her body so tiny.
her lips so tender, her heart so pure.
mummy's gonna be back on monday.
lucky sister Louann's arriving back on that day, so my mummy shift is over.
i don't get paid, people(:
plus, i hafta go to school om tuesday.
God knows for what.
Tee said Michael wants to brief us about something.
anyway, still can't find my USB.
sister Louann, come back fast!

i posted something on mummy's facebook.
here:

For My Mummy

Mum, any woman can give birth. But it takes a special person to be a mother. You're the mother that anyone can ever want. I am proud to have you as my mom. I bet little sister would be proud too. I wanna thank you for giving me all the necessities and un-necessities ( the ones that made me spoilt ) and of coz, a mother's unconditional underestimated love. We'll all have fun looking after Sofia and watch her grow up, just like you had fun ( are having fun ) looking after me and watching me grow up.

I'll teach Sofia how to be a feminine, desirable, attractive, pathetic drama queen. Oops, you can cancel the last three words and replace them with princess coz those three words are entitled to me... hehehe (:

Love ya mummy. Lotsa lots.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hello .was chatting to Hairi till 2 plus in the morng yestrdy. slept @ 320am. was woken up by big brther at 10am. he said it was importnt and that i was told to go down rightaway. i told myself it was a dream and went bck to sleep. howevr, i was woken up again and so i realy had to go down.

found out that mummy's watrbag broke. great. another early bird. big brother and Babybro were both born early. i was the only one who was born a day late. looks like im gonna be the special one for life. ehehe. so anw, mummy had to go to the hospitl. called uncle. uncle told his wife "wake the kids up, we're going to the hspital" . and grndma was like "oi, tunggu die bersalin la. engkau pergy skrng , nampak siti ( my mom ) aje" . and i was laughng.

so anw, i had to distract Rayan while mummy and papa went out of the house. or else, he would wnt to fllow. took pictres using the webcam. hahaha. he was blur. i told him to look into the webcam and smile. the webcam looks like a tiny hole so he was probably thnkng " why should i smile @ the hole? " hahaha.

( 3 minutes later )

FVCKING HELL. MY MOM'S GIVING BIRTH @ 450PM TODAY.

okay. im excited. two babies in the house. weehoo! im gonna love babysitting overtime. enjoy the piccies. im gonna go jump up and down.

Christmas Day

woke up @ 9am. gave bbybro milk. slept again till 925am. washed up. showerd my bbybro. pickd out red spiderman tee for him. he likd it. went down. had a Chinese breakfst. prepard by grandmother and mummy. delicious! then, gifts time. i got a bag. studded. coolio! actualy, i know it was a bag because i checkd last night. it wasn't wrapped. plus , i couldn't wait. hehehe. cheat, i know. Oma ( grndma in German ) gave me 50 Euro, whch is equivalnt to 100 bucks. yippee! shoppng time, mummy!

got to ready to go to Aunt's house for lunch. i decidd on black skinnies, striped tube top, queen belt, DC shoes and my brand new bag. ehehe. had a Western lunch. at 6pm, off to Orchard Road. walkd a whole lot. to see the light + shopping. bought a new bike. costed me a hundred and eight bucks. i didn't know why i bought it but i did.

went home @ nearly 11pm. felt so worn out. checkd my weight. shiatzxc! i gained 1.5kg! bloody hell! i need to realy cut down on my amount of food. despite the daily morning exercises that i do, when im w Dad, i realy can't resist the junk food. that's my weak point. so, i've planned. tomrrw mrng, swimming. and on Sunday mrng, gym.

i still can't find my USB. bloody bloody hell. seems like i hafta wait for my maid to come bck frm the Philippines befre i can upload all my picszxc. since she was the last one to keep my USB cable. bad move, sister. hahaha. my blog seems so boring wthout pictres. whtevr.

Stay with Dad: 6th December > 24th December
Singapore > Bali > Singapore > Bintan > Singapore

> stayed @ grandparents' place from six till 10
> grandma brought us grandchildren to Sentosa
> carried a snake , twice
> started feeling homesick already
> met Nabilah<3 on the 12th
> was so glad that i could spend the afternoon w her
> i misz her already):
> went off to Bali on the 14th
> ( i forgot to inform Ddin that i'll be away for 5 days and he got so worried. i received tons and tons of text messages when i got home. im sucha bad friend. sorrie baby. )
> on our third day there, i got this from my bro "Being with Dad is not fun like with Mummy. No freedom"
> poor boy. he has to suffer
> did Jetski-ing, Parasailing and Banana boat-ing
> google it up for the definitions and pictures
> fvcking awesome
> i wanna go to Bali w Mummy next time
> reached home on the nineteenth
> my heart felt @ ease knowing that i would hear "Watcha Say" every 5 minutes ;D
( my message ringtone )
> things happened, adults discussed and we were going off for a holiday again
> Bintan, yet again
> two nights, three days. w my grandparents
> delicious food, buffet. ( minus dinner(s) )
> came home on the 23rd in the evening
> this time around, i didn't inform F that i was going away
> he called me several times and left me plenty of text messages
> enough to melt my heart away(:
> well, im so sorry i didn't inform you
> went bowling w family @ night
> from 9pm till 2300 hours
> awesome to the maxxx (:
> at 1am, talked otp w F
> our first ever proper conversation, otp and not on the phone
> coz we rarely talk
> we even rarely meet and what more see each other
> on the morning of 24th, everything was a rush
> packing my clothes and newly bought stuff and toiletries and necessities and what not
> the thought of seeing my BabyRayan again got my heart jumping and made me pack faster
( i tend to waste time , but not this time )
> Dad wanted to take me out for lunch before sending me back
> "Why the hell does he have to do this?!"
> "I'm not hungry, I wanna go home," I said
> i have some snapshots but i can't find my bloody USB
> damn damn damn
> will go on a frantic search later on
> lastly, I'd like to say

There's no other place like Home and I'm glad to be back home.

Hi. I'm @ my grndprnts' house and I get to use the cmputr here.
Bumped into Tee yestrdy @ Cntry Sqre.
It was funny. We were both lookng at each othr, thnkng "Isn't that Shaqila/Tiara..?" and then I laughed.
She came to me and said "We realy should go out sometime" .
Anyway, updte about my life.
Thngs are pretty bad.
Real, real bad.
Ddin and I fought. But we made up.
I made him come to Tampines Mart yestrdy night @ 9thrty coz I needed a hug.
I'm homesck, I miss Mummy and BabyRayan.
Dad's not makng it any easier.
Dad's pretndng he knows nothng, but he knows the killer part alrdy; I'm not happy with him.
Yet he lets us suffer, what an idiot.
Bubbly voices of my cousins and seeing them havng fun kills me evn deeper.
I wanna go home. I wish I could go home.
I'd hafta tolerte this till 24th Decmbr.
What a long time.
I realy hope I can meet up w Nabilah, Monyet + Izati.

Labels: hope.faith.love.trust.

I've been waiting for your reply but it don't seem to come. It's times like these when you want a reply and it don't seem to come fast enough. It's times like these when you wish he was online and chatting to you. It's times like these when one wonders if he really loves me. Please baby, reply me asap?

This is for Afiq :

Whenever I watch Teen Cribs, all the more I want to go to America to start my career. What career? , you might ask me. Singing career. Hehe. I told my mom. I said I'm serious about it. She seemed surprised, just like I thought she would. I plan to go to America when I'm 19, with my cousin. He is Vietnamese-American ( plus Malay ) and thus, he gets to choose whether he wants to be American or Singaporean. He said he wants to become American and if he goes to stay in America and bring along somebody, that somebody would get 70% off the ticket. He said he'd bring me as he also wants to start his career in America.

This is all I ever hear ; “Be a good girl, just behave, what’s wrong with you? Settle down, keep your two feet on the ground, sit up straight, stand up tall, never falter, never fall, stay in school, make the grade, never fail, never fade. Be a hero, be a star” In other words, be everything but who you are.

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. If you give her a HOUSE, she’ll make it a home. If you give her GROCERIES, she’ll give you a MEAL. If you give her a SPERM, she’ll give you a BABY. You see, she multiplies & enlarges what’s given to her. So if you give her any CRAP, be prepared to receive tonnes of SHIT."

If you realize, the sentences are organized from the time a couple first locked eyes, to the time they got married, to the time they have a perfect household, to the time they started having babies and for some couples, unfortunately, to the time things started going wrong. I love love love this quote.