.Thursday, December 03, 2009
This is all I ever hear ; “Be a good girl, just behave, what’s wrong with you? Settle down, keep your two feet on the ground, sit up straight, stand up tall, never falter, never fall, stay in school, make the grade, never fail, never fade. Be a hero, be a star” In other words, be everything but who you are. I'm so sick of everybody trying to change me. Especially my family members on my Dad's side. They are all very wise and smart. Almost all the uncles and aunties are university graduates and even my grandparents, granduncles and grand aunties went to primary and secondary school. You could barely well say my whole family is educated and nonetheless smart in the fucken brains.
Unfortunately, I'm not like them. I rebel. And I jolly well know they can see the difference in me. They treat me slightly differently. They give me meaningful stares. They probably wonder in their minds why I'm not smart like them. And what makes me stand out on my own even more is that my cousins are also all bloody smart. All getting friggin' A(s) and A*(s) and getting into top classes. And my cousin, born in the same year as me, got a PSLE aggregate of 237, enough to get into Tanjong Katong SS, while I, got a poor score of 201, and had to be pulled in my uncle Fathul into Tampines Secondary because I didn't make the Express aggregate. Grand aunties starts talking ( or you could say gossiping ) and I AM BLOODY FUCKING SICK OF IT.
No, I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm not tryna change myself. I just want my own family members to accept me for who I am and do not compare myself to my other cousins.
XOXO